I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You ruined the universe
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
