I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
we're making bets on your personal life
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
