non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
