if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
