dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
