I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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