I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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