i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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