it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He felt like a one man threesome
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
