i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Randomize
