I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
