Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
