i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Holy sore nipples Batman
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
