so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
