He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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