I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
