Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And then he peed in my hair
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
