she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Come see our sink grown plant.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
