She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
