I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
