I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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