I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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