Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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