I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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