the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
