i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
