omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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