he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize