no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Less talking, more tequila
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Randomize
