I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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