I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
