I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
