how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
