alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
