I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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