so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
