dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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