Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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