For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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