I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
