Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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