i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
