your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
