Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
