I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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