I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
