no you cant smoke seaweed
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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