hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Randomize
