we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
