how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
