One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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